Snowflake Kisses Read online

  That doesn’t sound good. “Mom?” I croak, trying to lift my eyelids again. This time I can, but it’s like lifting weights.

  “Vee,” Mom says, rushing to my side. “You’re awake.”

  For a moment I’m disoriented about my location. I was expecting a hospital, but it looks like I’m in a log cabin instead. That’s when I remember the reason I’m here.

  “What about Yangbin? Is he okay?”

  “He’s fine, honey,” she says, looking somewhere over my feet.

  I try to sit up, and catch Yangbin standing in the corner of the room. Mom pushes me back down before I can get a good look. I don’t try again because it hurts too much.

  “Mom, I’m so sorry about my skis. I have no idea where they are.”

  “Shh,” Mom says, stroking my head. “Don’t worry about things like that. Ammon picked up your skis and ski patrol brought them here. You focus on healing.”

  What a mess I’ve made. Ammon was fine, but I’m not. On the first run of the day, too. I’m never skiing again.

  “I’m so sorry, Mom,” I say, tears welling in my eyes.

  My dad comes over to my side. “You have nothing to be sorry about. What you did was brave.”

  Wow. I can’t remember my dad ever complimenting me. I want to hold back the tears, but they come anyway. And now I’m a blubbering invalid mess in front of Yangbin, and too broken to care.

  “The car is here,” Yangbin says softly.

  “Great,” the doctor says. “Let’s wheel her out and get her to her room.”

  Apparently the hotel called a car to take us back so we wouldn’t have to take another bus.

  It’s weird being pushed on a stretcher. I’m moving, but all I can see is the ceiling. It’s dizzying to look anywhere else. I get a little defensive because I don’t know what’s coming out at me from the front.

  Mom leans over in my vision. “It’s going to be okay. The doctor said it’s just a sprain, and we don’t need to visit a hospital.”

  We get outside, the wind burning my sore face. Dad sits me up, and the doctor helps him put me in the car, blanket wrapped around my bottom so nothing is exposed. Honestly, it could be worse. I thought I’d be screaming in pain, but I’m only throbbing.

  To my surprise, Yangbin takes the front seat—directly before me. Mom gets in the opposite side of me and taps my arm.

  “Dad’s going to stay here with everyone else, if that’s okay.”

  I nod. “I feel bad you’re missing your ski day.”

  Mom smiles. “The resort was nice enough to refund our money.” Mom glances at Yangbin while she says this, but I don’t know why.

  “How are you feeling?” Mom asks.

  I sigh. “I’m alright, not as bad as I thought I’d be.”

  “The doctor put you on strong pain meds. You’re fine now, but you’ll need more in an hour or so.”

  So that’s why it’s not terrible.

  When we get back to hotel, Yangbin brings me a wheelchair from the backend of the car. I hold tight to the blanket while he sits me down. I want to ask him why he’s still here, but it’s awkward in front of Mom.

  All of us take a silent journey to the fifth floor, and my self-consciousness is returning. I never got a chance to shower, and I’m sure Miriam’s braiding didn’t last that fall.

  I have no idea if there are cuts on my face or my eyes are swollen or anything, but I’m sure I look like a hot mess. Yet another time when Insta Hole would come in handy.

  As soon as we’re back in the suite, Mom gets busy. They’ve already cleaned our room, which doesn’t give Mom much to do. I know how she is when she’s stressed, she just wants to put everything in order.

  Yangbin stands behind my wheelchair like a statue. He should leave. I have no idea what he’s thinking.

  “Mom, it’s fine,” I say. “You just relax.”

  She looks more disoriented than I feel. “That’s right,” she says. “You need to be in bed.”

  “I’ll help you,” Yangbin volunteers.

  Oh please no. I’ve already been humiliated enough.

  But I can’t turn him away again. That ended in disaster last time.

  Yangbin wheels me to my room and the two of them position themselves under my armpits so I can hobble into the bed. I hope I don’t smell too bad. I did at least put deodorant on.

  The blanket won’t cover my backside now, but Yangbin has his eyes closed. My nerves are on high alert by Yangbin’s side. I don’t think our hips have touched yet and it’s more intimate than I pictured it.

  Mom helps me under the covers and tucks me in.

  “Are you hungry?” she asks. “You must be hungry.”

  Come to think of it, I haven’t had breakfast yet. My bedside clock reads eleven AM. It got late, fast. My stomach growls on cue, as if to confirm it.

  “Yeah, I am.”

  Mom smiles. I bet she’s glad to have something to do. “I’ll just run to market around the corner, then. Are you okay staying with her, Yangbin?”

  Yangbin juts out his chest like a man. “I sure am.”

  I suck in a deep breath. She’s going to leave me alone with him like this? I want to argue, but how can I take my mom’s one joy away when I’ve ruined her morning? And I really am hungry.

  Mom doesn’t waste her time grabbing her purse. “I’ll be back as soon as I can,” she says. “Let Yangbin know if you need anything. I’m sure he can get it for you.”

  I’m not sure why mom trusts Yangbin so much after only meeting him today. He must’ve done something spectacular to help me.

  “Alright, Mom,” I say. “See you soon.”

  When the door shuts, Yangbin pulls over the sole chair in the room and sits close to the bed.

  “Are you sure you’re okay?” I ask him, studying his face for the first time. His nose is still a little black and blue, but it’s not crooked.

  He flashes his dimples. “I only got a little beat up. I’m okay.”

  I run my fingers down my face. “I keep hurting you. I don’t think you should hang around me anymore. I’m bad news.”

  His smile widens. “Sometimes bad news is fun.”

  There goes my flaming cheeks again. Why does he have to be so charming?

  I play with my fingernails. “Don’t say things you don’t mean.”

  “Vee,” he says, leaning over so I’m forced to look at him. “I do mean it. Stop degrading yourself.”

  I scoff. “What should I say? It’s about time you worshiped at my feet?”

  His eyes almost close, his grin is so huge. “Exactly.”

  “Fine,” I say, not hiding my sarcasm. “I’ll do that from now on.”

  “Good,” he says, playfully.

  I inhale. “But seriously. Thank you for helping me.”

  He bites at his lip. “You are kind of heavy.”

  My eyes go huge and I cover my face. Did he seriously carry me?

  “By the way,” he says, changing the subject. “You have a great family.”

  I peek through my fingers, then drop my hands. “You’re only saying that because you don’t have to live with them.”

  “No really,” Yangbin continues. “Ammon was fast to be by your side. He even picked up your skis for you. The kid’s a natural born athlete.”

  “Ammon?” I say, double checking. “My chubby, annoying, brother who spends all of his time in front of video games?”

  Yangbin raises his hands like whatever he says next isn’t on his head. “I’m just calling it like I see it.”

  “Okay, then.”

  “Your parents, too.” Yangbin adds. “I’ve never seen anyone get to the cabin so fast.”

  I raise an eyebrow. “So you ski a lot?”

  He ruffles his hair, and it reminds me of last night when I had the chance to be so close to him. My cheeks keep burning at the thought.

  “Believe it or not,” he responds, “But I actually live here. Not in the hotel, but in one of the condos on the property. I just
moved from Korea last year.”

  One of those condos is like a million dollars. Not that much, but I know they’re not cheap. “Are you serious?”

  “It’s weird, I know.”

  I’m a little jealous. This place is a dream land. “Not weird at all. Cool, actually.”

  He leans over so his elbows rest on the edge of the bed, right next to my waist. “You’re always surprising me.”

  That came out of nowhere. “Thanks, I guess.” I reply, my tone heavy with disbelief. “It’s my specialty. I am someone to be worshiped, after all.”

  Yangbin leans his face on his hand, looking my direction. “That is true.”

  Oh gosh. Has anyone ever died from blushing? I swear my temperature is three-hundred degrees.

  “But seriously,” I say, trying to bring him back to Earth. “My parents are okay. But we don’t get along very well.”

  Yangbin sits up, moving too far from me. “Really? Why is that?”

  I tug at the tips of my hair as I talk, trying to push the nerves down. “Because, they expect me to already know what I want to do with my life. As if planning out my next sixty years is simple.”

  Yangbin hangs his head. “I get that. More than you know.”

  “It’s like,” I say, anger bubbling in my gut. “I’m only seventeen, but I have to choose what I’m going to do forever, NOW. What if I decide on something, and I hate it? What if I spend my whole life chained to a desk in the name of money? I don’t want to live that way.”

  Yangbin huffs a laugh. “And they expect that you’ll be happier because you’ve cemented yourself to something, when you don’t even know what makes you happy.”

  I smile. Yangbin really does know what I’m going through. “Yes! And then if you mention anything other than what they want you to do, well that’s just stupid.”

  “Right?” Yangbin says, getting excited. “Like if you have a dream you might as well not even try because that’s not the ‘real world.’ It’s a bunch of crap.”

  I sit up more, wanting to be as close to Yangbin as possible. “Exactly. Is making money the most important thing I can do with my life? If you really want me to be happy, why can’t I figure out what is that makes me happy?”

  Yangbin puts his elbows on the bed once more. “My parents hate that I’m in a band, but music is my life.”

  That’s when I really see him. Before now, I knew that he was beautiful, and talented, and nice, but I didn’t see his soul. It’s like there’s this invisible wire connecting our hearts. An understanding that wasn’t there before now. It bridges us together in way that’s only understood on an empathy level.

  Like a butterfly spreading its wings for the first time, the entrapped feelings in my soul are released. It feels amazing to stretch out and fly into the wind.

  The only thing that would top this moment would be knowing Yangbin could stay by my side forever.

  Dreams

  “So what’s your dream?” Yangbin asks.

  He’s leaning so far into my bed he’s touching me. His face looks relaxed, and I don’t feel uncomfortable with staring into his eyes anymore. We’ve barely done more than blink as we’ve chatted.

  “You might think it’s dumb,” I say, all too aware of how cool he is.

  “I won’t.” he states. And I believe him.

  “I want to be an author.”

  His mouth hangs open. “Seriously? That’s really cool.”

  I shrug. “It’s not that original. Lots of people want to write books.”

  “Lots of people want to be rock stars, too. Do you think that makes it not worth pursuing?”

  My shoulders drop as I sigh. “But you know you’re good at it. With writing. I don’t know. I could suck.”

  “You don’t suck.” he says, like it’s a fact.

  I roll my eyes. “You don’t know. You haven’t read my writing.”

  “So what?” he says. “If you really want to do it, you’ll work at it until you’re good. But I’m sure you already are.”

  “How can you be so confident?”

  He scoots his chair so he can lean towards my face. “Because you’re an interesting person, and interesting people can’t write boring things.”

  How can he manage to make me like him more when I already feel like my heart is going to burst? “You give me too much credit.”

  He pushes his chair back and gets on his knees, fanning his hands at me. “No I don’t your worshipfulness.”

  I lean forward, and gently slap his hand. “Quit it!”

  He giggles and abandons the chair, choosing to sit on the bed instead. “Well, you need to stop degrading yourself.”

  As I fall back into the pillows, my ribs stab me. I inhale through my teeth, not able to hide the pain.

  “Oh my gosh,” Yangbin says. “It’s time to take more painkillers. I didn’t realize so much time had passed.”

  I didn’t either, what happened to my mom?

  “Don’t move,” he says. “I’ll be right back with your pills.”

  I want to refuse them, but now that I’ve felt my ribs, I’m feeling my ankle too. I haven’t really seen it, but I can imagine it looks like the marshmallow man.

  “Here’s these,” Yangbin says, dropping the tablets in my palm. “And here’s the water. Drink it all.”

  “Yes, Mom,” I say with a wink.

  He ignores my comment, taking his place back on the bed as I swallow them down.

  “There’s something I have to tell you,” I say, thinking about how he thinks I’m cool because I went to his sister’s Christmas thing.

  He rests his weight on his wrist, which is placed on the other side of my torso. “Shoot. I have something I need to tell you, too.”

  I close my eyes for a second, suddenly feeling dizzy. Those pain killers work fast. “It’s just that,” I start, but my thoughts are getting cloudy.

  “It’s about the thing,” I try again. That’s still not right, but I can’t pull coherency together. “I wasn’t supposed to do that. At the thing.”

  “Are you okay?” Yangbin says, his brows pulling together.

  “I need to tell you,” I say, touching his knee.

  He takes my hand in his, holding my fingers. Any sentience I had before flees with that touch.

  I keep trying anyway. Because I want to be with him, but we can’t start a relationship on lies. “At the thing. I wasn’t supposed to do that.”

  Now my words are slurred.

  “Vee,” he whispers. “I think you should sleep. Try and get better.”

  “But—”

  “It’s okay,” he says reaching out for my face. “I already know.”

  Sleep does sound nice. “You’re not mad?”

  “No,” he says, tucking my black hair behind my ear. “I don’t think I could ever get mad at you.”

  “You shouldn’t be so nice to me,” I say, my eyes closing.

  I only say it because I know how fragile this is. I’ll have to leave eventually, and he’ll stay here. It’s not fair, but I can’t change it. All I have is now.

  “Where’s Yangbin?” I say when I wake up.

  I’m still loopy, but aware enough to know I’m in my hotel room.

  “He had to go, Honey,” Mom says. “I have some food for you if you’re hungry. It’ll help you feel less dizzy, too. You shouldn’t have taken those pills on an empty stomach.”

  No wonder it hit me so fast.

  “Okay. Thanks Mom.”

  I want to ask more about Yangbin, but now isn’t the time.

  Mom comes back into my room with a tray. She’s really outdone herself by making my favorite curry.

  “You didn’t have to do this.”

  Mom pats my hand. “I wanted to. Now eat up.”

  I’ve barely scraped my plate clean when Miriam hops on the bed beside me and gives me a giant hug.

  Although I feel much better, I can’t help but tease her. “Your hands are cold, Weirdo! Get off me!”

  “But I
’m sorry I left,” she cries. “Let me love you.”

  “No!” I say shoving her.

  Mom comes back in to take my plate. “Come on now, Miriam. She’s a patient and she needs her rest.”

  Miriam stops hugging me, but doesn’t leave the bed. “Fine, but I still want to hear a detailed account of the incident.”

  I sink into my pillows, the food making me groggy despite my nap. “Maybe later.”

  “That reminds me,” Mom says, taking the seat Yangbin sat in earlier. “We need to talk about tomorrow.”

  The original plan was for everyone to do their last minute Christmas shopping at a nearby outlet mall, but since I can’t walk I don’t know what we’ll do. Being wheeled around all day sounds boring, too.

  “I’ll just stay here,” I volunteer. “I have a TV in my room and as long as I have food I can hobble to the kitchen now and then.”

  “I had a feeling you’d say that,” Mom says. “Which is why Yangbin is coming by again tomorrow.”

  “What?”

  Mom never lets me be around boys. Does she know he’s in a band? Not that it’s bad to play music, but I thought she would’ve considered him a rebel.

  “He’s helped you out so much already, and he offered himself, so I let him.”

  I’m confused. I thought my mom didn’t want me dating until I was like, thirty.

  “Mom is there something you’re not telling me?” I still want to be with Yangbin, but I have to make sure Mom is okay with this.

  Miriam elbows me as if I’m crazy, and I am.

  “I think Yangbin is a nice boy,” she says.

  I clutch the sheets so I don’t fall over. Really? I’ve never heard that one before.

  “Besides,” she continues. “I don’t think you’ll get into trouble with that hurt rib.”

  If only she knew. I thought about kissing him after I almost broke his nose. But if I’m going to see Yangbin tomorrow, I cannot smell like this.

  “Do you think I could take a shower in the morning?” I ask, sniffing my hair.

  “No,” Mom says, “but you can bathe. As long as you keep your foot elevated, you’ll be able to do it yourself. Just be careful, okay?”

  That’s a relief. I have a feeling tomorrow is going to be special. I’m normally not the type of person to ask a boy on a date, but if I don’t get the courage, it’ll never happen. We’re only here for three more days after tomorrow, so I’m running out of time. He needs to know he’s not just a friend.